Dotty Moo?

As I’ve barely posted at all in the last year, here is a review of 2009, along with goals for 2010…

January
Started the year off in a positive and bouncy mood. Everything seemed to be going in ‘the right direction’, especially at work. Targets were being met and so on and so forth until…

February
One of the big bosses resigned, which meant that I was assigned to a new manager. Not so bad, or so I thought!

March
My back went on the 13th March. This proved to be the beginning of the end of life as I knew it! Suffered temporary paralysis.

April
Began to be able to walk again but on Easter Sunday my Grandad got taken into hospital after a fall. Eventually he got moved to a hospital specialising in elderly care, where patients recover before going home. Despite my back and severe depression, we visit him every week.

May
I return to work out of sheer stubbornness. Not well enough, but my antidepressants work, although my back is no better. Finally have my first MRI scan Grandad suffers a stroke in hospital and I spend  the day with my Step Mum waiting for my Dad to get back from London. When we get to the hospital Dad and I agree that should he get worse, he won’t be resuscitated or put on life support.  He deteriorates rapidly. The day he dies my Dad is in London again, and I urgently try to get hold of him, as we know it’s about to happen. When he gets to the hospital I arrange the last rites. Ian and I stay at Mum’s over night as I have a ‘feeling’ he’s going to die and he does. At 1.30am.

June
We organise the funeral. Being catholic, we attend church the night before and I wear the brightest, pinkest dress I can find, even wearing heels, despite being barely able to walk or stand myself. Stupidly it seems the nicest way to remember him. For the funeral I wear a purple cardigan with a navy blue skirt  - the outfit I used to wear when I went to church with Grandad, before he got ill.  A week or two later and I’m back in the office trying to work full time but my body can’t handle it and suffer temporary paralysis again. Signed off work again, which turns out to be for good…

July
I begin working from home to keep myself sane. Life goes on. I still get upset at the death of my Grandad but mostly try to deal with getting well, as best I can.

August
Still off sick. We notice a new housing development near to where Ian works. Ignore it as I have a job.

September
Finally meet with the consultant for the results about my back 2 days before my 27th birthday. It turns out that I have arthritis in my lower spine. By this time I have a walking stick having relented and accepted that I need it.  Initially relieved but then it begins to sink in that I’m stuck with this disease and may not recover fully. We start house hunting properly as the diagnosis means that I am best working from home where I can best manage my conditions (arthritis and depression – great mix!). We reserve a house on the the development we previously ignored. We’re buying a house!

October
Book a flight to Dublin as I’ve never been on a plane before, and I’m starting to feel frustrated at my lack of independence. Just because I am ultimately disabled doesn’t mean I can’t be free to live my own life. Or at least that’s how I was feeling. Wished Grandad was alive to ask about the illness as it runs in the family. Meet with an occupational health nurse at the dayjob to discuss my results. She feels my plans (to work from home) are very sensible considering the circumstances.

November
We visit the show house with my mum so she has an idea about how our home will look. We specify the kitchen units, bathroom tiling and carpets. It’s starting to feel real! Meet with a occupational health doc so that work can get rid of me and the meeting goes well – or at least to some extent – gives me advice on how to deal with my back.

December
Relieved the year is almost over. I finally head to Dublin for a couple of days and love every minute of it.

January
Resign from day-job at last as am finally allowed to do so. Track arthritis down to childhood (several mis-diagnoses, grr). Not sure what this would have meant if it had been diagnosed back then though. Probably nothing… Now entirely self-employed but gearing up to move house in March. Incredibly fed up of the snow that has been on the ground for several weeks now (and before Christmas too).  Snow on the ground means that I can’t really leave the house. Go away snow!

Plans for 2010

• Lose the excess weight! (necessary given health problems)
• Move house
• Keep a food blog